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“Before Grumpy Custard, I was the guy no-one invited to parties. Now, I can’t walk into a pub without someone buying me a drink. I’m the life of every party. And even the dogs queue up to be my friend.”

- Johnny Monroe

“I used to get pummelled so often, I thought my middle name was ‘Ouch’. But since discovering Grumpy Custard, I’ve been winning every fight! Who knew all it took was a bit of self-delusion and a Grumpy dessert?”

- Billy Bulldog